Liebe Herr Lubitz,
I don’t know an awful lot about you. Actually scrub that. I do know an awful lot about you or at least your last awful 8 minutes of life. As I write, your calling card to the world on the Cockpit Voice Recorder is known and the air crash investigators are just opening up your further horrific actions from the Flight Data Recorder. From the little I know of you I’d imagine you could be looking on now and getting off on watching the media puzzlement and speculation as the investigators try to unravel the legacy of your last minutes of life to the rest of mankind that is still interested in wondering why.
I for the moment am one but not out of morbid fascination in your mass murder as let’s face it that is what it was. No, I’m interested in what drove you to that point and why you felt you had the right to take others with you.
Lots of people suffer (suffered in your case) from depression. Most not as chronic as yours or so the media says. Lots of people suffer from the darkest of thoughts in their own lives. Lots of people, including me, been bullied – you perhaps for your introversion and your chosen route to the Cockpit via becoming a Flight Attendant. Me for my race and skin colour among other things. The difference ends here. The rest of us are all mostly still alive and have not taken our pain out on 149 others plus however many family and friends involved in that last flight.
You have added fuel to an existing debate on mental health by what you did and it can be argued by some – not me – that that is no bad thing. I’m less tolerant. Mental health in our society is a serious issue but very few mental health sufferers pre-meditate an act so diabolical as you did. Many have and will take their own lives but you…? What did you do?
You may not have respected your Captain that day and that’s fair enough. Not all of us get on with our bosses but neither do we murder them. During the pre-flight briefing did you not look into the eyes of the 4 Cabin Crew, of whom you were one once, that you would later put through the ultimate stress of their professionalism trying to calm their terrified passengers we now know were screaming in the knowledge of their impending doom?
You were probably seated in the Cockpit as the passengers boarded and so never actually saw the two mothers carrying their babies for whom you were stewarded to fly safely onward. Please dear God let that be true and not that you were there greeting those coming on board as some airlines will have their Flight Crew do. You probably never looked into the eyes of the 16 students on their way home to parents who missed them and with their whole lives ahead of them. You probably never knew that two Opera singers who raised human spirits were on board who would be included in the same media narrative as you whose lasting legacy would be to sicken human spirits.
You may or may not have thought of your parents, now refugees from their home. What legacy they left on you that may have caused you to do what you did we don’t know yet but now we speculate and there may be some blame there for which sympathy is due to you. But if not, they are already and forever tarnished and extended victims paying an on-going price while your own pain seems…just seems…to be over.
And then there is your girlfriend….or girlfriends as it turns out. One in whom you confided that you would one day do something that would cause the world know your name and hence why I know it. The other is carrying your child. Whether you knew that we don’t know, nor do we know how she feels carrying your offspring now that she knows what you did or how she is going to explain to that child who its father was when she is asked one day.
You locked your Captain out of the Cockpit. We know now you looked up on the Internet how to do that. We also know you looked up on how to kill yourself. You will have heard his desperate pleas to let him back in. You will have heard the forward Flight Attendants’ attempts to help him before they had to attend to screaming passengers. The aft Flight Attendants would also have been trying to calm and secure passengers – the same crew you sat with in pre-flight briefing. All of your crew but you were trying to save lives. From the early evidence of the Flight Data Recorder you sped up that plane deliberately on its descent in spurts presumably to make your passengers squeal in terror? Among them would have been the two mothers with infants in arms desperately trying to protect them.
You wanted me to know your name and so I do. You never asked me for my opinion but you’re going to get it. From wherever you are I believe you can hear it so buckle up flyboy and shut the fuck up. There are innocent mental health sufferers all over the world who strive to cope with life without harming another soul. There are bullied people who make it through life without becoming bullies themselves and murderers.
There are also people in life whose actions and legacy defy all reason and who for me are no brainers in wishing the very worst possible on them. Hitler, Stalin, Saddam Hussein, Ghadafi, leaders of Al Qaeda, Boko Haram, Taliban, Al Shabbab. God will undoubtedly have greater grace on them than I. I’m not supposed to be judgemental but let’s just put it this way. Had you survived and I was on the jury at your trial I will have delivered my verdict on you in under 10 seconds. The Judge at that trial is the one who will do th judging so I’m off the hook I guess.
If there was one caveat I would insist on it would be that you are constantly forced to watch your child grow up and get to that point of one day wanting to know who his or her father was. That’s assuming he or she won’t be the final casualty of your last flight.